"Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup." - A

March 7, 2011

Weighing In

I was a scraggly looking infant.

Red hair... Sore eyes...

I've seen the pictures.

And heard the stories.

It didn't take long for me to fill out.

I've been filled out all of my life. Chuckle.

I will never be a thin woman.

I struggled for years to accept that.

But I allowed myself to get to an unhealthy weight.

I chose not to accept that.

I am an emotional eater.

I eat when I'm sad or angry.

When I'm happy even. (For you, Snagglepuss!)

The best and worst times of my life are associated with food.

The worst were when Cap'n Chaos was an over the road trucker.

Raising Sweetums alone is never what I would have chosen.

Her special needs can be and have been demanding to say the least.

Financially, we had no choice.

I soothed myself with food.

The loneliness... The frustration... The fear... The doubt...

I "ate" them all away.

Gobbled them right up.

Daily.

Mostly nightly.

After Sweetums would go to bed.

I thank God that Cap'n Chaos was able to find local work.

Even if we did almost lose our home because of the pay cut.

Sweetums has another parent.

I have my other half back.

I've learned to channel my emotions in a different way.

I blog.

I go walking when my legs permit.

And I call my sister, Ann.

Especially when I relapse and eat things like cold macaroni and cheese.

GACK.

Losing weight has taken time and having patience with myself.

Some things I haven't always had.

Now that I do, I appreciate the luxury. ;o)

8 comments:

  1. I'm so glad you're finding your way to a better, more healthy place. That's fantastic!

    When you relapse, can you choose something a little more relapse-worthy though? Cold mac and cheese? Eeks.

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  2. I know. Thankfully, Ann doesn't judge me. LOL

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  3. I love this post. I hope you blog more often, because I think you are way better at that than eating. I mean really, who eats cold mac-n-cheese? Your posts are so much tastier!

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  4. I just caught up with all your posts (I didn't realize I had missed so many!). First, Congratulations on the weight loss! I hope to be able to do the same after this baby is born. Second, the self knowledge you have acquired is amazing, and I guess I can start working on that part now.

    blessings to you and yours!!

    Renee

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  5. I am so glad that you are eating more healthy. So proud of you! Also, I have started blogging again, just wanted to let you know.

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  6. Well, I kind of like cold macaroni, but good for you on trying to get into shape.

    I love your post style, I love reading all your posts!

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  7. But, please, get rid of that thingy that makes you type in a word! It's almost 2 am here, I'm too bleary to have to keep trying to figure out the weird order of letters.

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Comments also taste good with ketchup. GRIN.