Mother Mayhem

SIGH.

2012-01-26T08:19:00.006-05:00

Call me crazy, but I miss the winter. This is the most snow we've had all season. A mere skiff. The rest of the time it's been pretty mild and raining. And raining. And raining. Did I mention the raining? SIGH.

Happy Birthday, Sweet Sixteen!

2012-01-22T09:05:00.002-05:00

Sweetums...

Papa and I love you! :o)

Happy Labor Day!

2012-01-21T16:09:00.002-05:00

16 years ago, I was in labor with Sweetums...

And grocery shopping.

Lord, it's just another hill...

2012-01-05T08:36:00.005-05:00

Happy New Year!

2012-01-03T07:23:00.000-05:00

*Insert party horns.*

December 25, 2011

2011-12-25T06:40:00.003-05:00

~*~ MeRrY ChRiStMas! ~*~

(Sweetums got a Scotty McCreery cd. Please pray for me.)

BWAHAHA

2011-12-24T08:49:00.003-05:00

Cap'n Chaos experienced a dramatic weight loss while he was ill.

Dramatic = Scary.

Now that he is taking his insulin, he is looking more like his old self.

Sweetums: Papa, you're not fun size any more. You are family size.

I love my kid.

Point of Grace- Labor Of Love

2011-12-21T14:41:00.000-05:00

Deep.

2011-12-12T06:51:00.002-05:00

I told Cap'n Chaos that I was thinking of running away.

He told me to be sure and tell him where to so he could come get me.

Snort.

Celebrate good times...

2011-12-08T14:54:00.003-05:00

Happy birthday... to me!

I lit my own candles.

Rawr.

Holly Jolly Christmas

2011-12-07T17:00:00.009-05:00

A local radio station has been playing Christmas music continuously.

Since before Thanksgiving.

How many renditions of Jingle Bells and O Holy Night are there?

Porky Pig singing Blue Christmas has become a favorite.

Burl Ives is the only recording of Holly Jolly Christmas for me.

The same goes for Bing's White Christmas.

Or the Muppets singing The 12 Days of Christmas.

This evening, Sweetums introduced me to a whole new song...

"I don't like that version of The Nutcrackler."

BWAHAHA. :o)

Queen for a day...

2011-12-03T14:30:00.007-05:00

Sweetums and I were out running a few errands.

We shared a laugh as I did battle with my seat belt.

I may have gained a little weight throughout Thanksgiving.

Sweetums turned on the radio...

Freddie Mercury was belting out "Fat Bottom Girls".

Coincidence?

Snort.

Bittersweet

2011-12-02T07:21:00.015-05:00

Dear Santa,

I'm writing this letter because Sweetums is not.

There is no wish list this year.

No Legos...

No teddy bears...

No baby dolls...

And no Little People...

For the first time in fifteen years.

Our girl is growing up.

We've been blessed to enjoy the "age of make believe" for this long.

Now she likes real boys...

Especially Scotty McCreery.

GULP.

For old times sake,

Let's meet for one last round of cookies and milk.

I'll be waiting under the Christmas tree...

With a box of Kleenex.

Sniffle.

Mother Mayhem

~ Happy Thanksgiving! ~

2011-11-24T07:05:00.004-05:00

May your stuffing be tasty,

May your turkey plump;

May your potatoes and gravy

Have nary a lump.

May your yams be delicious,

And your pies take the prize,

And may your Thanksgiving dinner

Stay off your thighs!

Victory in Jesus!

2011-11-17T06:40:00.010-05:00

January 13, 2011, Sweetums accepted Christ as her Savior.

Water baptism became a recurring topic of conversation.

Especially about how long pastor would "hold her under".

Sweetums does not enjoy being wet. Never has.

The idea of pastor trying to drown her was not particularly appealing.

Papa and I told her that, when the time was right, she would know.

The time came last Friday.

Sweetums awakened at 2 a.m. in the morning and knew.

On Sunday morning, Sweetums was baptized.

She came out of the water rejoicing...

And a little concerned...

Apparently, she had gum in her mouth, and, when she came up out of the water, it flew out somewhere into the baptistery. Only my kid.

Chuckle.

As we all remember...

2011-11-11T17:06:00.002-05:00

It's a Soldier, not just a reporter

Who has given us the freedom of the press.

It's a Soldier, not just a poet,

Who has given us the freedom of speech.

It's a Soldier, not just a politician

That ensures our right to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.

It's a Soldier who salutes the flag,

Who serves beneath the flag,

And whose coffin is far too often draped by the flag.

~Author Unknown~

A little hung up...

2011-11-09T07:09:00.003-05:00

Sweetums has taken to calling me Mommie Dearest.

A term of endearment, I know.

I try my best not to shudder.

Fighting the impulse to over-tweeze might become an issue.

I admit having one thing in common with Ms. Crawford...

I abhor wire hangers.

It doesn't have a thing to do with what they may do to your clothes...

It's more the sound they make scraping along the hanging rod.

Screeech.

Barf.

Rest in Peace

2011-10-10T18:48:00.003-04:00

Sunday morning, October 9, 2011, my Uncle Freeman passed away.

He fought a 10 year battle with cancer.

It finally won.

Please remember his (my) family in your prayers.

Shaken. Not Stirred.

2011-10-07T08:35:00.009-04:00

Every morning Cat comes in for breakfast.

He stops with his nose an inch from the kitty chow.

And sits.

And waits.

He won't eat unless I shake his bowl first.

Go figure.

Reflection

2011-10-02T18:44:00.002-04:00

When did my belly button go from pointing straight ahead to pointing at the floor?

Revelation

2011-10-01T17:16:00.007-04:00

Finally have Cap'n Chaos home.

Recovery happening slowly.

He started out with strep, then developed diabetic acidosis.

Pretty scary stuff.

Shudder.

Sweetums and I made daily trips to the hospital.

On the way home one night, she burst into tears...

"Nothing can happen to Papa! I'll be stuck taking care of you!"

Guess I should start looking for that nursing home...

SIGH

2011-09-26T21:18:00.002-04:00

Cap'n Chaos is seriously ill.

He is in the hospital.

Update when I can.

Please keep him (us) in your prayers.

Back on the Chain Gang

2011-09-14T07:39:00.004-04:00

We are mid-way through the second week of our school year.

Only 34 1/2 more to go...

A Word to the Wise...

2011-09-10T20:43:00.003-04:00

"Never fart behind the shower curtain." - Sweetums

I am with words.

2011-09-05T08:13:00.009-04:00

Dear Vendor,

I realize that selling you wares (which, by the way, were not handcrafted as opposed to everyone else's at the arts and crafts festival held in our town this weekend) is how you make a living...

Carry on...

However...

I suggest you be more careful about grabbing on to someone's kid.

Sweetums was only looking at your bracelets.

She didn't want to try one on.

Had you not been quicker, I can assure you that you'd have been drawing back nothin' but a nubbin.

Leaving your grimy handprint on my kid was not cool.

RAWR.

Results

2011-09-02T07:09:00.007-04:00

I've had trouble posting.

It's not blogger's fault.

It's mine.

Sorry.

The results for Sweetums's tests came back.

She is no longer considered a pre-diabetic. Yay!

Adrenal panel was normal. Phew!

There is a simple cyst on her right kidney.

The nephrologist will be keeping tabs on that.

We saw the cardiologist again this Monday.

The diagnosis at this point is essential hypertension.

This means there isn't a cause for the high blood pressure.

Essential seems a weird way to describe it.

Frown.

Echo cardiogram was repeated.

No change.

FROWN.

Sweetums's medications were doubled.

The cardiologist remains "cautiously optimistic"...

We will see him again in two months.

Prayerfully, her heart will be stronger.

The wisdom teeth will have to wait.

Sigh.

All of Sweetums's life, I've been on guard...

I must have let that guard down.

Gotten caught in a lull...

Why else would I not see that something was going on?

That question is on a loop in my brain.

I am sad.

I am worried.

I am without words.

Impatience

2011-08-24T09:52:00.011-04:00

Yesterday was the day of Sweetums's kidney tests.

An ultrasound and renal doppler.

Since no needles were involved, you'd think it'd be a cinch.

Right.

It was more like World War III.

There were almost casualties in the women's changing room when the howler monkey decided she wasn't trading in her street clothes for a hospital gown. Can you guess who won that battle? Ahem.

Others had to wonder what was going on behind our curtain...

Especially when I began to pray... Out loud.

I popped my head out long enough to inform the registrar that she might want to inform the x-ray technicians about Sweetums's distress.

Her eyes were wide as she replied that she'd "make a note of it..."

By test time, the howler monkey had quietened down a bit and was soothing herself by singing Band on the Run... BWAHAHA.

"If we ever get out of here..."

Complete cooperation during the whole ultrasound/doppler.

Well, almost complete anyway.

At certain points, the tech asked Sweetums to hold her breath. She held it in her mouth, but was still breathing through her nose. Chuckle.

We are waiting on the results...

SIGH..

Making a Joyful Noise

2011-08-17T08:41:00.008-04:00

School is starting for us soon... September 5th to be exact.

Sweetums will be a freshman.

Gulp.

Counting pre-school, we've been "official" homeschoolers for 11 years.

Wow.

Finding the right path to teaching Sweetums hasn't been an easy one, but it's always been an adventurous one. CHUCKLE.

For ninth grade, I chose a tried and true literature course by Christian Light Publications, and a new to us curriculum for everything else.

Walch Education has a special needs program called Power Basics that might just be the ticket. I hope. I hope. I hope. ;o)

The line up looks like this:

Literature

American Government

Biology

Math

English

Bible

I have a human body stashed in the closet for health.

Don't worry...

It's made of plastic.

You can choose the sex.

Sweetums says it's a female.

Her name is Aquanetta.

I'm also toying with the notion of a Music Appreciation class.

Sweetums is finally listening to music other than Johnny Cash.

She's now into the Everly Brothers. LOL

Weekend

2011-08-15T09:07:00.003-04:00

Cap'n Chaos and his crew went fishing Saturday.

When the alarm clock went off at 5 a.m. I wanted to throttle him.

SIGH.

Sweetums and I went to the movie theater.

She wanted to see the Pooh Movie.

It was no longer playing...

We saw Rise of the Planet of the Apes instead.

Sweetums thought it was a comedy.

We dined on buttery popcorn and Reese's pieces and tried not to annoy the handful of other people around us by laughing too loudly.

I'm pretty sure the film wasn't intended to be funny...

But I enjoyed watching it through Sweetums's eyes. :o)

SMILE

2011-08-13T08:14:00.002-04:00

Sweetums out on the patio reading to her cat...

" I love the smell of new books!"

She is her mother's daughter! :o)

So glad that Borders is still in business.

Every time a bookstore closes, my heart breaks a little.

My Favorite Season

2011-08-10T09:31:00.004-04:00

I had a delightful surprise when I awoke this morning...

A taste of the autumn to come was in the air...

A lil crispness... A lil coolness... A lil chirping of crickets!

I need to hide all the underwear.

It's no old wive's tale...

Crickets really do chew holes in them.

Shudder.

Daughterly Love

2011-08-09T08:00:00.003-04:00

Sweetums... Snuggling her Dad...

Sweetums: You're the best Papa in the world!

Cap'n Chaos: Grunt

Sweetums: Next time I get sick, I want you to hold the bucket.

Cap'n Chaos: Complete silence

Mother Mayhem: Cackle

The Final Decision

2011-08-08T09:10:00.004-04:00

The dragon won.

How can I fight Sweetums?

This is how she sees me.

In her eyes, the dragon is the protector. Not the knight.

I find this very interesting. Chuckle.

One of THOSE days...

2011-08-05T08:24:00.001-04:00

Yesterday, I was reminded that I just sponge off of my husband.

Don't make me call out the flying monkeys.

Ahem...

2011-06-15T08:37:00.003-04:00

Sweetums: I don't think the other kids like to play with me.

Mother Mayhem: Whatever gave you that idea?

Sweetums: I got the memo.

Mother Mayhem: RAWR.

No one ever said that raising a kid was easy...

Hot Flash

2011-06-13T07:39:00.010-04:00

I made an attempt to cook.

You can quit laughing now.

Seriously.

I used a Paula Deen recipe.

English Peas.

OO-La-La.

Being as that we all know that a watched pot never boils, I just left it alone on the stove to do its own thing. Which, after several minutes, was nothing. I couldn't figure out what I'd done wrong. :o\

Like that would be a first. Snort.

I decided to give it a little more time...

And turned the stove burner up a bit higher under the pea pot.

New recipes can be tricky sometimes...

The stress was making me feel slightly flushed.

I didn't actually break into a sweat until I started cheesing the macaroni (even though the new sauce pouch makes things a whole lot easier than that old orange powdery stuff I must say.)

The kitchen was getting hotter and hotter...

I was literally slaving over a hot stove here people...

All for the love of my sweet little family...

The fish sticks were browning nicely...

They didn't stick to the pan! Yay!

Still nothing for the peas...

As I mopped my brow for the umpteenth time I noticed that the back burner was on. The pea pot was on the front burner.

Yup.

Snicker

2011-06-07T07:10:00.005-04:00

Sweetums: Papa, you have a lot of white hairs.

Cap'n Chaos: I'm just going really blonde.

Sweetums: Yea. Frosty the Snowman blonde.

Mother Mayhem: BWAHAHA. :o)

3 Posts in One Day!

2011-06-03T18:17:00.006-04:00

Dear Cousin Meggie,

Use "retard classes" to reference some of your school courses in my presence again, and I might not be so tolerant of your ignorance.

RAWR.

Inevitability

2011-06-03T17:59:00.007-04:00

Run the vacuum... Someone clips their toenails.

Wipe the bathroom sink... Someone clips their nose hairs.

Scrub the toilet... Someone does the green apple two step.

Degrease the stove top... Someone wants fried egg sandwiches.

Start the dishwasher... Someone sits a dirty glass on the counter.

Clean the kitchen counter... Someone makes Kool-Aid. Red.

Mop the floor... The cat yaks, or someone spills Kool-Aid. Red.

Run the washer... Find someone's dirty white sock behind the couch.

Run the dryer... Find mate to someone's white sock in load of jeans.

Why do I bother?

On the very day I don't...

Someone comes to visit.

Yup.

Never fails.

~ Woot! ~

2011-06-03T17:51:00.002-04:00

Today is the 14th anniversary of Sweetums's open heart surgery! :o)

Never Forgotten

2011-05-30T06:38:00.001-04:00

For all of those who fought to keep her flying free...

Fractured Fairy Tale

2011-05-27T18:53:00.005-04:00

Sweetums accidentally broke a glass in the kitchen a few weeks ago.

During the clean up, I stepped on a piece.

Don't worry... I didn't feel it.

The neuropathy and all...

I checked the cut really well and didn't find any glass.

I kept it clean and disinfected...

Alcohol, antibiotic cream, nice cushy bandages...

You all know the drill. ;o)

Every now and then, the cut would start bleeding.

That wasn't unusual because of where it was located. Right?

The day before yesterday, Cap'n Chaos looked at my foot in the sun.

Guess what?

Yuppers...

The piece of glass was still in my foot.

Thankfully, Cap'n Chaos is not squeamish.

I, however, tried not to pass out while he plucked out the offender...

The closest thing to a glass slipper that this ole gal will ever see.

Gack.

Yellow - For Amelia

2011-05-25T14:12:00.004-04:00

First lily bloom!

Pretty... Um... Weed?

Weed. Definitely.

Marital Bliss

2011-05-24T10:27:00.003-04:00

Cap'n Chaos has been trying to take my side of the bed.

He finally got it.

I flipped the mattress.

Snort.

Gulp.

2011-05-21T08:52:00.002-04:00

I just saw my life flash before my eyes...

In the $5 music bin at the Wal*Monster.

Sometimes Less is More.

2011-05-18T08:00:00.011-04:00

After 16 years, AT&T finally made us disgruntled enough to leave.

We've gone wireless.

With a different company.

I think I'm still in shock.

Wireless means limitations that I am not used to...

450 minutes a month on the telephone...

Unless the call is after 9pm during the week or after 12am weekends.

I don't talk to anyone but Ann and my Mom, so it's all good.

250 text messages a month.

I sent my first text ever the other day.

Scared one of my friends.

I thought it was like instant messaging where your name shows up.

She thought I was a creeper. BWAHAHA.

3 gigs a month of computer time.

So long Big Fish...

My guiltiest pleasure...

And, thanks to a new-fangled rabbit ear from Wal*Monster, we have 13 digital (including local) channels on television without having an outrageous monthly bill. It's been years since that's happened.

A lot of good has come from this...

Sweetums and I have become avid readers, and our family is interacting with one another better as a whole.

I still miss Silent Library though. ;o)

SIGH

2011-05-14T06:09:00.021-04:00

Ann once dated a boy that had a brother-in-law known as Art the Fart.

I don't remember quite how I had him pictured, but I do remember that the reality of him came as quite a surprise.

The Fart was actually not a bad looking fellow...

It's just that his hair grew up instead of down.

I thought of The Fart the other day as I was trying to get ready to take Sweetums for an appointment in town with an oral surgeon.

Her wisdom teeth are trying to come in, and the upper ones (at least) will have to come out. Happy. Happy. Joy. Joy.

I don't know if it's because I was harried, or if there was something different in the water, but my Moe had gone decidedly Farty.

I looked like a clown.

I suppose it was fitting...

The time we spent in the waiting room was like being in a circus.

Our appointment was for 10:15.

The longer we were there, the wilder Sweetums got.

I felt like I was wrestling a monkey.

An anxious, nearly 6 foot tall, howler monkey.

They do have those in the circus don't they?

Or is that the zoo?

A cage would definitely have come in handy.

At least she wasn't flinging poo.

Although given an opportunity...

Seeing other patients come out after surgery made us both feel green.

We made quite a pair.

At 11 :15, I escorted the howler monkey to a bench outside.

I figured the fresh air would do us both good.

I briefly stepped back inside the office and explained to the receptionist that I was taking Sweetums home. And why.

She asked if I wanted to reschedule.

Could she not see the slightly crazed look on my face?

The tic in my eye?

I waited a few days before I rescheduled.

The next appointment will be at 8:15.

A note had been placed in Sweetums's chart to make sure we got the first appointment of the day so as to avoid a repeat performance. Snort.

They have no clue that Sweetums is already obsessing.

And that Farty the Clown is sitting in a corner...

Quietly pulling her hair out.

Ahem

2011-05-10T07:17:00.004-04:00

Dear Neighbor,

Just because I am up packing Cap'n Chaos's dinner bucket at 6 a.m. doesn't mean that I am awake. Letting your little fur ball of a house dog out to yip under my bedroom window is so not cool. YAWN.

It's Not Nice to Fool Mother Mayhem.

2011-05-05T06:46:00.001-04:00

If someone lies about the little things, they'll lie about the big things.

RAWR.

Snicker

2011-05-02T08:50:00.006-04:00

Apparently, Sweetums was contagious.

She is feeling better...

Cap'n Chaos and I are both sniffling and coughing.

He missed work Thursday and most of Friday.

He even went to see the family doctor. :o0

Sweetums went with me to the drug store to pick up his antibiotics.

"Mom, men are worse than babies when they're sick."

Did I ever mention that my kid is very observant?

Crybaby

2011-05-01T09:48:00.014-04:00

I cried in the Wal*Monster.

Right there between the sour cream and the Entenmenns display.

Not because of ever inflating prices or because they weren't carrying my latest obsession- Cheesy Cheddar BBQd Cheetos.

It was because of a little old lady.

Little old ladies come in several catergories...

There are the spry, super charged ones that are ready to take on any challenge...

There are the grumpy ones that click their tongues in scorn and then try to take you out with their buggy...

There are also the sweet, slightly confused ones that need help locating things...

And then...

There was this one.

She stood out from the crowd.

Why?

She reminded me of my Mamaw.

A little brown wren.

A plaid house dress, granny sandals, a white sweater, a graying bun simply adorned with a few bobby pins and hair combs...

Her appearance took my breath away.

I got all choked up.

I had to speak to her...

It's a wonder that she didn't think that I was a total lunatic.

Instead, she opened her arms wide and enfolded me in an embrace.

She even smelled like my Mamaw...

A mixture of clean soap, rich earth, and warm sunshine.

I was transported back in time.

When the embrace ended, the little old lady ask God to bless me.

And I knew that she really meant it. :o)

Hello? Is there anybody out there?

2011-04-29T17:15:00.004-04:00

I've been internet-television-telephone-less for awhile.

Now to catch up with all of you...

Sad Face

2011-04-14T09:02:00.001-04:00

Sweetums is ill.

SIGH.

Where Angels Fear to Tread...

2011-04-11T06:36:00.002-04:00

I've been gone for a few days.

I went to visit my Mom.

My Dad was there.

The one who claims he doesn't have any kids.

Which is worse?

2011-04-06T09:22:00.008-04:00

Having near invisible little spiders spinning webs at the base of your kitchen cabinets, or wondering what on earth they could possibly be catching for dinner in those webs? Shuddering at the thought. EEP.

O, it's somebody's birthday today...

2011-04-04T13:13:00.001-04:00

I love you, Ann!

I think the old gal has a lot of life in her yet! ;o)

Snort.

2011-04-02T19:56:00.003-04:00

You never realize just how big your butt is until your kid takes over the folding of the clean underwear as one of their chores.

I'm just sayin'...

I Got My Hair Cut.

2011-04-01T06:54:00.006-04:00

Doesn't it look great?

I hear you laughing, Francie.

Rubble Without a Cause

2011-03-30T08:13:00.010-04:00

I have a rather hearty laugh.

I've been known to snort on occasion.

But something happens to me when I get nervous...

My chortle is replaced with a Betty Rubble teeter.

I can hear myself, but am powerless to stop myself.

Making important phone calls fills me with dread.

High-pressure face to face appointments are torture.

Like going to have our taxes done...

Which we just did.

"MhmHmHmHmHm."

Gack.

I suspect it may be genetic.

My Mom and my sister Ann are also afflicted.

So far, Sweetums doesn't appear to have inherited the Rubble blood.

She laughs like Snoopy.

About Last Night...

2011-03-27T07:44:00.002-04:00

I was angry.

I don't do angry well.

I couldn't blog.

I couldn't call Ann.

I soothed myself with pizza.

It wasn't even the "good" kind.

It was store boughten...

On a cardboard round...

Covered with plastic...

I digress.

I cried until my head hurt.

I took a hot shower.

I was spent.

I could still be angry this morning if I allow myself.

ARGH!

2011-03-24T09:24:00.001-04:00

I broke a tooth.

Dratted TMJ disorder.

Grumble.

It's off to the dentist I go this afternoon.

I feel queasy.

Today We Celebrate...

2011-03-18T14:51:00.006-04:00

16 years of marriage.

Sweetums took a really good picture last year on our 15th.

Cap'n Chaos won't be still long enough to take a new one this year.

It's okay. We haven't changed any. ;o)

Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow.

2011-03-16T07:08:00.012-04:00

We've shared our lives with The Little People for 13 years.

There have been birthdays, anniversaries, adoptions, holiday celebrations, illnesses, soul-stirring church services...

I made all of the the children costumes out of construction paper and Kleenex for the Christmas play one year.

Yea. I'm crafty like that. Snicker.

We've experienced the tragic loss of one of the families. :o(

(Don't ask. It's too painful to talk about.)

Last weekend, The Little People packed it all in.

Sweetums closed up her dollhouses.

She said it was time.

They now sit lined up on a shelf in the garage...

Covered by a sheet to protect them from dust.

And critters.

I am truly blessed that the "age of play" has lasted this long.

I wouldn't take anything for even one of the countless hours spent in the heart of my daughter's imagination.

The Little People themselves were placed in a see through container that Sweetums placed gingerly in her closet.

"That way I can take them out and talk to them when I want to."

I may just do that sometime myself.

Sniffle.

WAH!

3 Little Words

2011-03-10T12:43:00.008-05:00

Bold...

Impassioned...

Intense with longing...

What's for supper?

After 16 years, you'd think he'd figure out that I haven't a clue.

Snort.

Scratch

2011-03-08T10:40:00.002-05:00

When money is tight, I worry about one thing...

Toilet paper.

Yesterday, I noticed we were down to 4 rolls.

I told Sweetums we were about wiped out.

I didn't realize how that sounded...

Until Sweetums started roaring with laughter.

Gotta love my kid. ;o)

Weighing In

2011-03-07T09:22:00.004-05:00

I was a scraggly looking infant.

Red hair... Sore eyes...

I've seen the pictures.

And heard the stories.

It didn't take long for me to fill out.

I've been filled out all of my life. Chuckle.

I will never be a thin woman.

I struggled for years to accept that.

But I allowed myself to get to an unhealthy weight.

I chose not to accept that.

I am an emotional eater.

I eat when I'm sad or angry.

When I'm happy even. (For you, Snagglepuss!)

The best and worst times of my life are associated with food.

The worst were when Cap'n Chaos was an over the road trucker.

Raising Sweetums alone is never what I would have chosen.

Her special needs can be and have been demanding to say the least.

Financially, we had no choice.

I soothed myself with food.

The loneliness... The frustration... The fear... The doubt...

I "ate" them all away.

Gobbled them right up.

Daily.

Mostly nightly.

After Sweetums would go to bed.

I thank God that Cap'n Chaos was able to find local work.

Even if we did almost lose our home because of the pay cut.

Sweetums has another parent.

I have my other half back.

I've learned to channel my emotions in a different way.

I blog.

I go walking when my legs permit.

And I call my sister, Ann.

Especially when I relapse and eat things like cold macaroni and cheese.

GACK.

Losing weight has taken time and having patience with myself.

Some things I haven't always had.

Now that I do, I appreciate the luxury. ;o)

American Idle

2011-03-06T19:15:00.007-05:00

After taking a few seasons off, we've been watching American Idol.

So far, I've made these observations:

JLo and Steven Tyler are more engaging than Paula and Simon.

They are a much needed breath of fresh air.

Randy Jackson should have retired.

His "Yo, Dawg!" is as worn out as Simon Cowell's black t-shirt.

Yawn.

None of the girls I liked made it through.

My favorite was Emily Anne Reed.

There are some interesting males left in the competition.

I enjoy the joy with which Jacob Lusk performs, and Casey Abrams is a charming character. Not sure either are American Idol material.

They don't fit the cookie cutter.

No one but Rod Stewart should ever sing Maggie May.

Seriously.

Lowering the age limit to 15 may be detrimental.

Sweetums is upset because her favorite didn't make the cut.

Robbie Rosen.

"He's tall, dark, geeky, and has a big nose. Just my type!"

Chuckle.

It was a mistake to let her watch the show past the audition stage.

I'll never forget when she became attached to Bo Bice...

Compliment

2011-03-03T18:43:00.003-05:00

I've lost close to 40 pounds.

I'm still hovering right over 200.

Cap'n Chaos told me this morning that I was skin and bones.

I love this man. ♥

Still Learning About Myself

2011-03-01T06:44:00.015-05:00

I've always considered myself to be a fairly logical person.

Until yesterday morning...

When the tornado sirens went off a little before 6 a.m. ...

And I caught myself running to the hamper with a pile of dirty laundry because I didn't want anyone to see our underwear if the roof and the walls of the house were gone. God forbid.

I also discovered that I drool in my sleep.

Yay.

Jimmy Cracked Corn

2011-02-27T07:20:00.005-05:00

Went to visit with one of my sisters-in-law yesterday.

The sun was shining and the weather a little warmer...

Perfect day for a drive.

We ate supper at the Cracked Barrel. Misspelled on purpose. ;o)

All was well and good until I found a kernel of corn in my drink.

I wasn't eating corn.

I already drank half before noticing.

And I do care.

Shudder.

Trouble

2011-02-25T06:46:00.003-05:00

Ray LaMontagne

Too good for an insurance commercial. Even if the doggie is cute. ;o)

GACK

2011-02-22T10:08:00.007-05:00

Forget running away to join the circus...

I have to worry about Sweetums heading for Arkansas.

Her fascination with The Duggar Family has simply got to stop.

Thoughts of birthing more than one 13 pound baby make me queasy.

TMI

2011-02-20T08:33:00.011-05:00

Strangers tell me things.

Personal things.

I don't know why.

My sister, Ann, laughs at me because of it all the time.

The lady cutting my hair at the chain beauty salon crossed the line.

She told me she was battling an infection in the nether regions.

Otherwise known as "the fire down below."

VERY unprofessional in my opinion.

I'm thinking of having myself a t-shirt made...

WHATEVER IT IS... I DONT WANT TO KNOW!

Think anyone would take the hint?

Ahem

2011-02-19T10:01:00.008-05:00

Dear Cousin Cliffy,

It was nice of you to invite us to your grand-daughter's birthday party.

I wish we'd known beforehand that your wife had viral bronchitis.

Sweetums is now ill. SIGH.

Thanks.

P.S. The cake wasn't that good.

Fun Times

2011-02-17T07:27:00.005-05:00

I'm meeting with a new neurologist this afternoon.

I'm a wee bit nervous.

Neurologists are not my favorite people.

I once met with one that told me he had no idea what was "wrong" with me, but he could always do an autopsy to find out. EEK.

Shudder.

Redesign

2011-02-16T08:55:00.001-05:00

I think I was due a change...

The cute lil kitties had to go.

People were mistaking me for sweet.

Sweetums on DQ Blizzard Treats

2011-02-14T07:31:00.004-05:00

"This is so good that it's wrong."

For the record, her favorite flavor is raspberry truffle. ;o)

Happy Valentine's Day!

What I Came Through the House and Saw...

2011-02-12T11:05:00.001-05:00

My Grand-Dollies

Winter Blahs

2011-02-10T07:43:00.000-05:00

I've gots 'em.

Oh no he dih'unt...

2011-02-04T11:14:00.013-05:00

Last night, Captain Chaos called me a brunette.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a brunette.

If you happen to be one.

I am not.

My hair is an odd shade of dark red.

Not brown.

Not "brown with a reddish tint".

(Known as pee-burnt brown where we come from)

Next month is our 16th wedding anniversary.

You'd think he would know what color my hair is by now.

Grumble.

Comments

2011-01-25T09:46:00.000-05:00

I've received word that no one can comment on my posts. :o(

I hope that the problem is now resolved. Let me know if not!

Celebrating!

2011-01-22T22:26:00.005-05:00

Sweetums turned 15 today!

(And I'm back online!)

Internetless

2011-01-14T06:57:00.002-05:00

Not sure for how long...

I'll miss all of you! Sniffle.

HUGS.

The Birds and The Bees

2011-01-11T18:30:00.007-05:00

This week, we are studying the two types of reproduction.

Asexual and sexual.

There are some subjects I sort of tip-toe around.

Picking and choosing what to tell Sweetums and when.

Then came the gametes.

And the spwerm. (Misspelled on purpose)

I gave the whole spwerm looking like a tadpole speech.

Don't laugh.

I'm sure I'm not the only one that was given that analogy.

Sweetums looked at the picture in her science book for a second...

"or a rat without ears."

Thump.

To be continued...

2011-01-05T07:43:00.004-05:00

Stomach flu...

All three of us...

Happy New Year!

2011-01-01T09:05:00.001-05:00

Forgive me for not being more original. ;o)

~~ Merry Christmas! ~*

2010-12-25T11:47:00.001-05:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JESUS! :o)

I have nothing to wear!

2010-12-21T13:31:00.002-05:00

Jack's company Christmas party is tonight! EEP.

(I have been instructed by Emily not to act like a total dorkfish.)

Now why didn't I think of that?

2010-12-18T08:03:00.013-05:00

Emily and I finally got to the Christmas presents this morning.

I've been putting it off...

I am not a good wrapper.

The paper is never straight, and the edges are always raggedy.

My bows won't stick.

By the time I'm finished, the gift has a generally mauled over appearance.

Sincerest apologies to anyone on the receiving end of my efforts.

*Hanging head in shame*

I took the brightly colored rolls out of their package with much trepidation...

But...

O what joy! The paper had little lines on the back! And pictures of little pairs of scissors showing me exactly where to cut! Bliss!

Made the experience much more enjoyable. And neater.

Then I began really thinking about the diagram...

About the person that dreamed up the idea...

It had to be a someone just like me!

I could have made millions!

This marvel could be worth nothing less, of course. ;o)

If only I hadn't been so busy trying to extract myself from the invisible tape...

Today I am 45.

2010-12-08T07:10:00.003-05:00

Those aren't wrinkles, dearie...

They are deeply relaxed laugh lines. :o)

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas...

2010-12-06T07:41:00.005-05:00

Emily's Christmas tree has been up for a few days now.

I finally put the lights on it last night.

It was a daunting task.

It took a whole strand of 60.

The tree is 3 feet tall.

I also hung an ornament on it.

Yes, one.

I'll get to the other 14 today.

Maybe.

Phew.

The Great Debate

2010-12-05T07:24:00.002-05:00

Emily likes her honey buns cold.

Straight from the package.

Jack says they are better hot.

He uses the microwave.

Which way is better?

Since I am the taste tester, we may never know.

Mother Mayhem

2010-12-04T06:00:00.001-05:00

So I thought it was time for a new blog...

I thought wrong. Chuckle.

Birdie Legs

2010-12-04T05:59:00.003-05:00

I was born with the heart and soul of a dancer.

Someone else got the body.

I was roly-poly. And short.

My mom bought my clothes in the Pretty Plus department at Sears.

Anyone else remember that one?

She also bought me patent leather dress shoes.

Ecstasy.

I adored them.

It didn't matter what color...

Red, white, black...

I loved their every sound.

In my head, I was Ann Miller.

In truth, I was a little fat girl clogging through the aisles of the Piggly Wiggly.

My mom never had any trouble finding me.

Tap-tappity-tap-tap... TAP. TAP.

But, when I was 14, a miraculous thing happened...

I grew.

Well, at least my legs did...

Long, lean, and quite shapely...

The thrill was obvious.

I once shouted, "Just look at these gams!"

In public.

Yes, I was called down. ;o)

I still had my stumpy upper half...

Giving me the resemblance of an odd sort of bird.

The point was totally moot.

I danced with my brand new legs anyway.

Everywhere I went.

Whether anyone was looking or not.

I didn't care.

(Except for that time a picture of me busting a move at a high school dance made the local newspaper. BIG no-no for the grandaughter of the pastor of a church that didn't believe in having music, let alone dancing. Oopsy. *Blush*)

As the years have passed, health issues have caused me to dance more and more with my heart and soul and less and less with my legs.

I just want to be thankful that I can hear the music.

I'm back.

2010-11-15T08:50:00.000-05:00

Just thought I'd let you know. :o)

Gone Fishin'

2010-10-21T06:21:00.001-04:00

Mentally and physically exhausted.

Taking a break.

Be back soon. :o)

Tragic News

2010-10-16T19:07:00.005-04:00

The Dad of my niece Sparkles (age 9) died in a house fire this morning. :o(

Happy Birthday!

2010-10-14T08:46:00.004-04:00

My incredible friend!

Bogged Down

2010-10-07T08:06:00.001-04:00

Will make a new post soon.

Hey... Wait a minute... I just did! Go me. :o)

It's Official.

2010-09-22T10:00:00.007-04:00

We no longer dwell in suburbia.

Good news is that there is dsl after all! :o)

Shame on you, At&T, for stressing me like that.

Mother Mayhem

SIGH.

Happy Birthday, Sweet Sixteen!

Happy Labor Day!

Lord, it's just another hill...

Happy New Year!

December 25, 2011

BWAHAHA

Point of Grace- Labor Of Love

Deep.

Celebrate good times...

Holly Jolly Christmas

Queen for a day...

Bittersweet

~ Happy Thanksgiving! ~

Victory in Jesus!

As we all remember...

A little hung up...

Rest in Peace

Shaken. Not Stirred.

Reflection

Revelation

SIGH

Back on the Chain Gang

A Word to the Wise...

I am with words.

Results

Impatience

Making a Joyful Noise

Weekend

SMILE

My Favorite Season

Daughterly Love

The Final Decision

One of THOSE days...

Ahem...

Hot Flash

Snicker

3 Posts in One Day!

Inevitability

~ Woot! ~

Never Forgotten

Fractured Fairy Tale

Yellow - For Amelia

Marital Bliss

Gulp.

Sometimes Less is More.

SIGH

Ahem

It's Not Nice to Fool Mother Mayhem.

Snicker

Crybaby

Hello? Is there anybody out there?

*Sad Face*

Where Angels Fear to Tread...

Which is worse?

O, it's somebody's birthday today...

Snort.

I Got My Hair Cut.

Rubble Without a Cause

About Last Night...

ARGH!

Today We Celebrate...

Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow.

3 Little Words

Scratch

Weighing In

American Idle

Compliment

Still Learning About Myself

Jimmy Cracked Corn

Trouble

GACK

TMI

Ahem

Fun Times

Redesign

Sweetums on DQ Blizzard Treats

What I Came Through the House and Saw...

Winter Blahs

Sad Face

~~ Merry Christmas! ~*