What's in a Name?

I finally found a nickname for Hubs...

Captain Chaos.

He may not be more powerful than a locomotive or able to leap tall buildings with a single bound, but he does have the ability to survey all the obvious madness around him and be completely unaffected. Da-da-da-daaa!

That would be considered a super power right?

Case in point...

We are moving.

I have less than 2 weeks to pack up this house.

Stress makes my fibromyalgia 1,000 times worse.

There is not one single piece of peanut brittle anywhere.

Sweetums is both anxious and excited.

There is a fine line between those two emotions.

She's bouncing off the walls...

And the furniture...

Singing show tunes (My Fair Lady), Johnny Cash, and The Cattle Call.

Cardboard boxes are taking over.

I have nightmares about cardboard boxes...

A.k.a. cockroach motels.

Shudder.

There are 2 clothes hampers and 1 clothes basket that are full to brimming.

Dirty dishes are appearing out of thin air.

I think Cat has ear mites.

He nipped Sweetums for the first time ever.

We've had Cat for 3 years.

There is a mosquito in here somewhere.

I have pink polka dots.

So does Sweetums.

She is allergic. SIGH.

A bald spot has developed in the front of my head.

Hair is also falling out in other areas of my body that I simply refuse to discuss, yet, it continues to flourish on my chin. What's up with that?

My left butt cheek has gone numb.

I have to learn to "cook" with a gas stove.

We have 5 new utilities and services to connect.

4 old ones to disconnect.

Did I mention less than 2 weeks?

Captain Chaos strolled in last night and asked me what was for supper.

Pondering

If a coal miner gets black lung from inhaling coal dust, can you get Kool-aid lung from inhaling too much Kool-aid dust over the summer? Wheeze.

Chasing Mummies

Hotdogs give me nightmares.

I used to think it was all about the chili.

I opted for a simple mustard & ketchup combo for dinner last night.

My chili theory was proven wrong...

Dr. Zahi Hawass infiltrated my slumber.

He was lecturing me.

I can't remember a word he said.

Maybe it was something about how dead relationships are like mummies.

They need to be all wrapped up.

And buried.

It's Official.

I called CPS (Child Protective Services) to report Tar Baby.

I am now a wicked step-mother.

I have earned my wings. SNORT.

The call made the situation worse.

I no longer believe in "the system."

It failed.

Dear World,

I'm not anti-social. I'm just not user-friendly. RAWR.

The UPS Man Cometh...

And he leaveth our box of goodies from Rainbow Resource!

Actually, he more like threweth it on the doorstep and raneth.

I've never seen a UPS man that is more stealthy.

Never knocks. Never rings the doorbell.

We just open the door to find surprises.

Sort of like when Cat brings us presents, only much better.

The only thing I couldn't get my hands on is the Karyn Henley devotional. I opted for Beautiful Girlhood and its Companion Guide instead. I'm hoping that it will teach Sweetums and I both how to be more gracious ladies. :o)

Old dragons can learn too. ;o)

Puzzled

A neighbor lady dropped in on us yesterday.

Out of the blue, she remarked that I look like I could be evil if I wanted to be.

I'm not sure how to take that... *Scratching Head*

Posturing

I'm a little concerned about my calcium uptake.

A dowager's hump is looming in the future.

I looked in the mirror and practiced rolling my shoulders back.

I was fascinated, yet horrified.

The shoulders looked great.

The rest of me resembled a candle that had been left burning way too long.

The Underwood Devil Made Me Do It!

The Hubs started working as the foreman of a heavy equipment crew in May.

Having him home every day by 4 pm is awesome!

The only hitch to the giddy up is packing the dinner bucket.

While the Hubs claims to not be a finicky eater, I beg to differ.

Some days there are leftovers from the night before, but, most days, I pack Hubs a sandwich along with fruit, chips, cookies, and a snack cake.

He is already burned out.

Bologna. Ham. Peanut butter and jelly. Treet Meat.

Hubs no longer finds any of them appealing.

My answer? Underwood Spread!

When I was a kid, a sandwich made with Underwood was a treat. I can remember how exciting it was to see Mom getting out that little paper covered can. I thought we were really eating fancy. I'm so not a hard girl to please.

Hubs looks at it like it's cat food on bread.

Guess what I packed in his dinner bucket today? :o)

Anticipation is Keeping Me Wai-ai-ai-ting!

The watch for the UPS truck has begun!

Earlier this week I ordered our homeschool curriculum. The Rainbow Resource box will be arriving any day! Sweetums has told me that she can hardly wait for school to start this year. That did my heart a lot of good. It lets me know that I'm doing something right. The affirmation was important. ;o)

I've chosen MCP Mathematics, Basic, Not Boring Language Arts, Science Shepherd Life Science, Where Roads Diverge for reading, and World Geography and You. A Karyn Henley Bible study is also on the list.

Our school year will officially begin on September 6th.

We've stocked up at the school supply sales.

I can smell the Crayolas from where I'm sitting. MMM.

Now if I can just get that Carly Simon song out of my head.

It makes me want some Heinz ketchup really bad.

Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

I couldn't talk the Hubs into putting flea drops on Cat by himself, but I did get him to help me do the dirty deed. He wrangled the hairy beastie while I put on the drops. Cat is now pouting. He wouldn't even "talk" to me this morning. I offered food. The stinky kind that Cat loves. Nada. He just turned away and started licking his butt. Sweetums had to feed him. Outside. Cat hates me.

A Dozen Challenges for August

1. I will not give relationship advice to my Mom.

2. I will ignore the fact that my Dad has been having an affair the last 20 years.

3. I will fill out all the packets the bank needs... Loss mitigation... Short sale... Deed in lieu of foreclosure... Without feeling like I have failed my husband.

4. I will not kick Tar Baby's butt for being neglectful of Itty Bitty.

5. I will not kick Tar Baby's butt for being disrespectful of her Dad.

6. I will keep at least 100 miles from Tar Baby so that I will keep #s 5 and 6.

7. I will clean this house from top to bottom before Sweetums starts school.

8. I will have a good laugh every time I read this list and reach #8.

9. I will put flea drops on Cat even though he will hate me.

10. I will talk Hubs into doing #9 so that Cat will hate him, not me.

11. I will not cringe every time I hear the voice of Johnny Cash.

12. I will blog regularly. It's a lot cheaper than therapy. ;o)

Because life isn't always so merry...

And neither am I. RAWR.